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Way too long!

2009-07-06T09:23:00.000-07:00

It had been WAY too long since I have posted. I got so wrapped up in all my surgical date excitement that I have forgotten to post. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. I can't believe it was a little over 2 weeks ago that I got my date and in 15 days I will be in surgery. I have to admit that I really am starting to freak out a lot but I am also just as excited. It is a weird emotion to feel but I am enjoying to roller coaster. I have attended my blended diet review and I think I am all set to be successful!

I have been getting a lot of resistance from my mother, whom I plan on staying with for the 10 days after the surgery. I am getting no support from her which is very frustrating. I do anything and everything for my family and the one time I would really appreciate their support I am not getting it. Her and my brother are being especially rude and cruel. But I will get through it.

I have a great support system of friends so I will rely on them. One of my best friends, Betty, will be taking me to the hospital and waiting with me before I go into surgery and she will be there when I get out. She has been great! I also have a lot of other friends that will be there for me!

I am really trying hard to eat well and it is stressing me out a bit! My pre-op appointment is on Friday and I can not gain any weight between that appointment and my first appointment. If I do then my surgery will be cancelled. I would be so devastated. I am down 10lbs so far and plan on doing a week of liquids and a lot of exercise! I will let you all know how it works out!

The 4th of July holiday was pretty successful! I didn't overeat ALL that much but I did eat some stuff that wasn't so hot for me. I am trying to drink a lot of water to flush it out of me!

Thanks for letting me ramble and I promise I will be better at updating. I really want to document these next two weeks and all the emotions I go through on my journey!

Ciao!

I got my date!!!

2009-06-19T08:58:00.000-07:00

I am SO excited!!! I just got off the phone with my Dr's office and my surgery is scheduled!!! 7/22/09 is the day my life will change forever!! I am SO very excited!! I can barley contain myself! I don't know if I want to cry , jump up and down or scream at the top of my lungs!!! YIIIPPPEEEEEEE!!!! :0)

Ta-Ta

SO EXCITED!!!!

2009-06-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

My insurance company has approved my surgery!!! I am SO very excited and I cannot wait to get my date. I am so overwhelmed with joy that I feel like crying! I can't believe this is actually going to happen!!!

***On a side note my one biggest non supporter just informed me of the dates SHE doesn't want it done on. I kindly told her this was something I was doing for MYSELF and that I always put everyone else in my life first; this one time it is ALL about me. I am sorry if I am selfish but this is something I need to do to improve my life. UGH!

Happy Wednesday

2009-06-17T05:54:00.000-07:00

Hello all. I am not even sure if I have any readers yet but that is OK! I will keep writing for my own account!

The last week has been very exciting for me. I became an auntie again on 6/9/09 to my beautiful Camille! She was 7lbs, 1oz and 20in long! She is so very beautiful just like her big sister Christina. Christina is the apple of my eye so miss Camille will have big shoes to fill....just kidding, she is my goddaughter so she is very special to me in her own way!

On Friday I went to my brothers house to help out with the kids and visit the new arrival. At dinner my brother found out about my hope to have GBS. Needless to say he flipped out. His argument was that I didn't have any comorbidities and that wanting to be thin and healthy is just psychological. I explained that I have lost weight many times and just gained it all back plus at least 20lbs. His major fear is that I will die and receive shitty treatment. I explained that I feel very comfortable with my choices for Dr.'s and the hospital. He was just very distraught.

Some back ground about why he was so freaked out. We have had a lot of losses this past year and have experienced very bad medical care as a family. In September my 89yr old grandfather died very suddenly. He was in the hospital with a bumped head. He was feeling great the night before and he himself thought he was going back to his assisted living the next day. My mom went to visit him he has 1L of oxygen on and it was on the side of his face. Needless to say he didn't need it. The next day my mom called to see how he was feeling the hospital staff said he was fine but being moved to ICU for "a little" fluid in his lungs. By the time my brother got there my Pa was on a re breathing mask and his lungs were being tapped. Within an hour he was dead. Gone. He had gone from being fine to being dead.

Next on Dec 31 we experienced the death of our father. He was 79. He had a long history of heart disease and the last 7 months for him had been torture. He had diabetes which resulted in a lot of leg ulcers. In June of 2008 he had a major bleed from one of the ulcers and was rushed to the hospital. My mom kept explaining that he was a cardiac pt and that his crit was too low and that he needed a unit of blood. They promptly ignored my mom and my dad suffered a major heart attack. Ultimately my dad died a horrible death from neglect at Falmouth Hospital. There are many other instances with my dad from January 08 till his death but I am just trying to give a brief background to why my family is so hesitant about medical care.

Then with myself it took 3 weeks and 4 trips to the ER to finally have my appendix removed. When it was finally removed it was 100% inflamed. I am obviously fine. However, all of this put together with a lot of emotion makes for a very hard time for myself and my family.

In the end I have asked them all to support me and if they feel that they can't to please keep their opinions and unsolicited advice to themselves. This decision was not an easy one for me and it took a lot of research and thinking for me to get to the point where I wanted to explore the option. I have gone to a lot of meetings which they have not and I have spoken to the surgeons which they have not either. I understand where they are coming from but it is very frustrating to not have my family support me when I support them all the time.

So there is my most recent update!

Ta-ta :0)

I thought I would Die

2009-06-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

Good lord!! I thought I was going to die during my exercise! YIKES! It took me 30 min to do 3 sets. I walked up and down 6 flights of stairs; each flight was 16 stairs. I had to do a little rest in between. However, this certainly was a wake up call to how out of shape I am. I hope if I keep this up at least 3 times a week and walk the other 4 that I will lose some amount of weight by my next appointment!!

Ta-Ta :0)

Pre-Op Diet

2009-06-11T11:07:00.000-07:00

I started my pre-op diet today and I must admit that I am STARVING. I honestly never realized how much I mindlessly snack. YIKES!! I am trying to eat foods very high in protein and low in fat and sugar. I have really enjoyed everything I have eaten so far today. I am also increasing my water intake. I am actually drinking Crystal Light because regular water gives me the hiccups, I have no clue why.

I made myself a food journal to track what I am eating and all the nutrition values. If you would like a copy feel free to email me. I would be more than happy to send it to you. It is very basic but helps to show me exactly what I am eating and how much! I found an awesome sight that I put in my links to the right; it is called "The Daily Plate" they have awesome nutrition information on just about every food and brand imaginable! Check it out!

The nutritionist wanted me to walk for 30 minutes a day. It is really cold and rainy out today so I am going to do the stairs instead. At the building I work in a lot of the ladies walk the back stairs between the floors. I work on the 5th floor so I am hoping to start with 3 sets of all 5 flights. I will report back later with my results; that is if they didn't need to call a code blue and I am on life support...hahahaha. Kidding. I work in a health care center so one of my coworkers and I were joking about that!

Ta-ta for now! :0)

A lot to report!

2009-06-10T12:45:00.001-07:00

WHEW it has been a busy few weeks to say the least. Let be pick up from where I left off.....

As I said in my last post I had just been to my 1st CWLS meeting that is required before you can be seen. At this meeting I fell in love with the surgeon that presented the information. I was waiting for a call back from the schedule coordinator and she called me on 6/3/09 ( MY BDAY!) to ask me if I could attend an appointment with him on 6/9/09. OF COURSE I said YES!!! I was SO excited to think I was going to be able to be seen so soon! Thank goodness in this time I had already quit smoking!!

I was seen yesterday for my consultation appointment and I was APPROVED by the surgeon. It was a VERY long appointment but in the end it was all worth it. I first met with the nutritionist to talk about my food journal. She came to the conclusion that I was already well aware of; my portion sizes are WAY too big. Next, I met with the social worker and had a nice long chat. She was super nice and I truly felt like she cared. After, that I had to have my blood drawn and leave a urine specimen. Then I sat and relaxed for a bit, the wait was killing me. I was so nervous that after all that I was going to meet with Dr. Gazmuri and he was going to tell me I wasn't a candidate!

I finally was able to meet with him. He was just as nice and funny during a one-on-one interaction as he was at the meetings! I am happy to report...I AM A CANDIDATE!!! It looks like my surgery will be sometime the end of July! I now have my work cut out for me. He would like me to lose some weight before the surgery. He didn't give me a specific amount but I am hoping for about 20lbs. I really want to embrace this time and start living the rest of my life.

I have to go to another meeting tomorrow. I actually really like the meetings and plan on going to them until my surgery day and well after.

This evening I will be going grocery shopping for my first "clean" grocery order. I really need to incorporate more protein into my diet!

Ta-Ta for now :0)!

New Patient Meeting

2009-05-29T08:03:00.000-07:00

Last night I attended the new patient meeting for the CWLS. This is a meeting that all patients are required to go to before they are allowed to go to their first appointment! I had already been to the one at Brigham and Woman's hospital so I was a little annoyed that I had to go sit through another 2 hour presentation. WOW! was I surprised! I am even more grateful now that I am able to go to Newton-Wellesley Hospital instead of the Faulkner. I was blown away by the surgeons presentation and that meeting alone motivated me to want to quit smoking and to start to get myself into shape for my surgery.

This weight loss program will not operate on smokers. Again, I was annoyed by this but after listening to Dr. Gazmuri last night I am more than ready to quit. Dr. Gazmuri was so nice, funny, SMART and kind. I have an appointment set up with his counterpart Dr. Partridge for July 15th, however, I am going to switch my appointment to have it with him. I was so impressed and put at ease by him that I don't care how long I have to wait to have an appointment with him. Anyone that knows me knows that I just wanted to be seen as ASAP. He made me rethink that and feel otherwise. I left there realizing that this isn't something I should rush into and that I should be fully prepared for the life changes that I will go through! As Dr. Gazmuri I said "This is MY year!"

Another thing I learned from Dr. Gazmuri was that I am able to stop by the office and get weighed in for my starting weight. I really am motivated and I want to start preparing myself now but I was scared that my BMI would drop below the required minimum. Silly I know but true.

I am just waiting for a call from the scheduling coordinator to see if I can switch surgeons. Keep you fingers crossed for me!

I will write more once I know. For now you will see my schedule of meetings to the right side. I really want to attend as many meetings as I can to be as informed as possible.

Ta-Ta :0)

Change of Plans!

2009-05-20T11:11:00.000-07:00

I am so very excited right now!!

When I started my research about where I would feel comfortable having my surgery done I found a center close to me that I like. This particular center; The NWH Center for Weight Loss Surgery is located in a hospital in which I know a lot of people, is very close to family and friends, has fantastic surgeons and is rated as a 1A gbs center. I was THRILLED.

The first doctor I needed to meet with was my PCP. She was awesome and was very supportive of my decision. I told her I really wanted to go to NWH and she saw no issue with this. I should have know that would have all been too easy. I received a call from their referral coordinator about 3 hours after I left and she told me I could only see a surgeon within their network. I was quite annoyed by this because I had already make my appointment with NWH. I was suppose to see them on 4/29/09 but nothing I said and no one I spoke to would agree to let me be seen at NWH.

As frustrated as I was I accepted a referral to Dr. Munn, the Dr. within the network of Dr's that my Dr works with. I got an appointment with them on 6/13/09. I was annoyed but there was nothing I could do. I then made all my appointments that I needed to make. I made and appointment with the nutritionist and the psych professional. All of these appointments would take place in June as well. I wasn't thrilled but as the day is getting closer I am getting more excited!

I got a phone call yesterday telling me that Dr. Munn is leaving the practice and not accepting any new patients and that all my appointments have been cancelled. They so kindly offered to reffer me to Brigham and Woman's hospital, which I was OK with since I have a lot of respect for that hospital. I called the two surgeons that they would refer me too and one was booking in November and the other at the end of October. I was speechless on the phone.

I calmly called the referral coordinator at my PCP office because I honestly didn't want to be a pain but if they couldn't see me until November I really wanted to go to NWH since I called and they would be able to get me in within a few weeks and sooner if they had any cancellations. Julia couldn't have been any nicer to me and explained that she understood my frustration and would talk to her supervisor.

Julia called me back this morning to tell me that I CAN GO TO NWH!!!! I am sooooo excited with this news; I just had to share!!

Stay tuned....

Welcome!

2009-05-20T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hello and thanks for stopping by my blog. I have started this blog to document my journey through gastric bypass surgery. This first post will have a lot of information about myself and will most likely ramble on. Which I do apologize for; I need a starting place and putting it all out there is most likely the easiest.

I have struggled with weight issues for as long as I can remember. I think I was about 10 the first time I joined Weight Watchers and from then on out I have tried them all. I had bulimia for 6 years. I know it was a very unhealthy way to lose weight but I looked my best during those years. I felt so good and had so much energy. I want to feel like that again.

This is a society where people will judge you on how much you weight and how you look. I do not like to be stared at nor excluded. The “peer” pressure is fierce and as if that wasn’t enough I have family members that make comments about my weight issues that truly make me feel unattractive and like a failure.

For example we recently went to a wedding and the comment from this family member was “You do so much to make yourself look pretty but in the end you are still just fat.” I just smile or laugh it off but deep down inside it really hurts. This is the same person that ignored my eating disorder and often asks me if I miss the way I looked when I had it. Of course I miss being fit and attractive!

I have lost weight many times in the past but have never kept it off. This past year I watched my dad die a horrific death due to coronary artery disease. This is what ultimately pushed me into researching GBS. I want to get married, have children and be alive to watch them grow up. The path I am headed that will not be an attainable goal. I currently don’t have any underlying health issues and I want to improve myself before I do.

I hope you enjoy this journey with me!

:0)
Beth